| Diary of a Neurotic | ||||||
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December 09, 2002 Its unbearably quiet, not the usual quiet, the calm seems like thunder, pounding in my ears. The hush deafening, every sound magnified by a million, the ticking of the clock, water dripping from the tap, my heavy breathing, all sounds disturbing. I can hear my thoughts bouncing off walls, finding an outlet, trying to escape, like me, feeling suffocated. The walls are closing in at warp speed; the room was never this small. I panic, gasp for air, I’m on my feet, running out of the room. I’m in the terrace, sucking fresh air and noise. If only I could keep my vision steady, I look up but it’s too dark to make out anything. Even here the sounds are annoying, the rustling of leaves, ants scampering around doing whatever they do, a choked sniff from afar. I cover my ears, can’t decide if its silence or noise I prefer. I want to break the silence, I try to sing, bang my feet and I give up, this is not normal. I scream and run inside, my legs numb I trip over the silence, breaking into little pieces, each piece running assuming different fragments of my thoughts. The sounds of silence often soothe, Shapes and colors shift with mood, Pupils widen and change their hue, Rapid brown avoid clear blue. (1:20 AM) ~`~
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