| Diary of a Neurotic | ||||||
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August 07, 2003 I wonder how you distinguish bad dreams from good dreams? Are falling, dying, blood, ghosts, scary relatives all classified into bad dreams or nightmares or even happy settings and you smiling in the dream can also be a nightmare? And now Im confused...even things that were once all you wanted, hoped, wished and DREAMNT about can turn ugly, like a heavily made up bride soaking in the rain...revealing her true plain self...fragile...exposed...almost naked. There are things I dont want to feel, live or even see. I run away from it, avoid it, ignore it, build huge blocks but at night...when you unconciously let your guard down...it hunts you down. I wake up in a cold sweat screaming and panting...going to sleep everynight with a silent prayer never to be haunted by the same thing. Its not that what you see is unhappy, horrible or scary its just the fact that its impossible...across the boundries of crazy things you DO dream about...so unrealistic...so out of reach...a realistic fact staring in your face. (6:17 PM) ~`~
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