| Diary of a Neurotic | ||||||
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September 21, 2003 I miss my misery…the feeling that visits me the most…the familiar emotion…at least I know how to cope with it….the words I repeat to tell myself it’ll be okay, the prayers I recite over and over till the words don’t even make sense, the long hours I spend in the bathroom hating the creature staring in the mirror and the long list of specially downloaded self-pity songs I put on repeat. At least a week has passed by and I’ve been happy and it’s so unusual and difficult to feel normal for this long without the fear that it will all be taken away from me like it always has. I’ve learnt not to become too comfortable in a normal life…to know and remember that melancholy is the predator waiting to attack just when you think you fooled him. So whenever I tell someone I’m okay, every time I pray, glance in the mirror and click my music play list I remember all my wounds…how I got them…how long I nursed them and I refresh them never letting them heal completely lest I forget and think that life is a fairy tale where everything ends in happily ever after. (12:10 AM) ~`~
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