| Diary of a Neurotic | ||||||
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October 09, 2003 Had the longest infinite week. I am still a zombie with nothing to say. The week started with a big bang like all big theories. Mine was old, run of the mill…super woman minus the kinky outfit. I wanted to do everything at the same time…be the new multi-armed Ganesh. There were 8 hours of classes to be attended, reports, exams, laws and constitutions to be memorized, social obligations, and a sick dog to look after. Like a rerun of Oprah’s show, I repeated, I will not tire, exhaust or weaken, I am a strong, independent woman, and I will no longer be a lazy ass. Failure to do so will prove that I am a loser incapable of running along a fast paced routine. My hyper jumping-head-first attitude didn’t last long. My extra-long-life batteries died out, I was tired, I was exhausted…I just wanted to crawl into bed…assume my fetus style position and sleep. Realization of being more fragile than normal humans felt horrible…I’m not a quitter…I wanted to do everything at the same time…I can STILL do it. I went thru a million emotions all ranging from being the biggest chicken to hating myself. I had to find priorities…one step after the other…one achievement at a time…life is not going anywhere. Here I am EX-Law student from today…taking it all in small swallow able doses. (8:28 PM) ~`~
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