| Diary of a Neurotic | ||||||
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October 01, 2003 Its 7 am…you’ve only slept for 2 restless hours. Your eyes swell and resemble twin golf balls so you look like either your squinting or extremely bored. Better to skip the black eye liner today. Cheeks sallow…mouth corners drooping downwards. Your feet heavy…so heavy…magnetic fields around your feet must have summoned the forces of the universe. Don’t even think about high heeled shoes that will make annoying clatter. 9 am…routine demands respect and subjugation…no matter how tedious, dull or repetitive. You are now on auto-pilot mode. Life is passing by you quicker than the average human attention span. You are a human robot…things are not making sense but it camouflages you among normally-functioning-8-hours-sleep-every-night people. 12 pm…Coffee and nicotine will help you stay awake…people want to uncover the secrets behind vacant eyes…you tell them it’s an allergy…a very very dangerous contagious allergy…more coffee…more nicotine…and now you're bouncing off walls. 4 pm…Mother wants you to eat…oh why aren’t you eating? Vapors of rhyming caffeine and nicotine swirl…internal tornado…will someone hold my hair back…my insides are miserable and need to evacuate this body immediately. 8 pm…It’s a matter of ego…insomnia versus you…dig out all self-help books…take a warm bubble bath…warm glass of milk…you hate WARM…its been 40 degrees the whole day…Write...I want to sleep 1000 times…punishment, reinforcement, subliminal messages might work? 1 am … Open blog…write psycho post…re-read written matter…confuse delete with post-publish. (1:29 AM) ~`~
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