| Diary of a Neurotic | ||||||
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February 15, 2004 Days after the inspirational rambling that can be quoted in some cheesy self-help book, she’s back…loathing herself…again. People should find it a little difficult to hate me…you see I can make up for everyone’s share. I hate how I change into an adolescent emotionally unstable freak when I'm about to get my period. I hate my inability to mask my true emotions that sprout out like blood from a severed vein of a fat cow. I hate not being in control…getting irritated…tired…depressed and majorly bitchy. I hate how it verifies all the favorite generalizations of men about women and PMS…the disgustingly, lame, infuriating jokes seem honest to god truth. I try to break the generality but I'm not the same control freak and my emotions are falling all over the place like moths near a flame. I hate being a woman…not knowing how to get out of this biological god-gifted mess. I hate calculating the average number of days, weeks, months and years I spend PMSING. I hate holding back hot, threatening, tears that will maintain their position only if I smash everything in sight. I hate crying…without a reason…beating myself senseless to find a reason when I should have just checked the calendar…I'm 4 days away from the glorious THAT TIME OF THE FUCKING MONTH! (1:24 AM) ~`~
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