| Diary of a Neurotic | ||||||
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March 09, 2004 Your perceived world is perfect…for now…you are happy and satisfied…so far, there is nothing wrong with you and you are normal. You can tell how abnormal the people around you are…they are as obvious as people hiding in costumes. Obviously this situation cant last for that long…and all of this changes in a split moment…they will forcefully enter your world…that you created painfully and perfectly and smash everything around…pretend to kiss you tenderly and vomit their sickness in you…and now they have your happy perceived world and you have their perverted one. In this house of the crazy and insane…screaming is what silence is to the deaf…crying is what darkness is to the blind and misery is unreal to the detached. Is madness a state you feel or what others make you feel? Its you…its always you…you created this situation…you gave them the right to hit you in vulnerable places. I want to run and never return to this madness that is so un necessary...I hate this house…I hate this family…and I hate what they do to me…or is it just me? There is nothing here that can keep me sane. You have sisters who fool themselves into believing they are morally correct because they are not attached or found anyone special. Every issue is twisted into how you have brought shame by going against the norms and they pinch you with the respect they are losing for you. I'm so proud of you dear sisters…you never made me feel alone. Am I crazy or stuck in a house full of crazy people? Am I as bad as they make me believe or I’m the only normal one? I wish I knew what they wanted from me? Why can’t they just understand…try being in my shoes…climb down from their holy pedestals and admit that I cant be who they want me to be…I cant do what they can do…and realize its too late for me to change. Is it too much to ask…to be left ALONE…forever? (3:25 AM) ~`~ |
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