| Diary of a Neurotic | ||||||
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June 10, 2004 An Iranian girl once told me being in love was like boarding a merry go round…the guy and girl facing each other…spinning round and round…everything happening at unbelievable speed…reality, rationality and experience thrown out of the window like a candy wrapper. Nothing would make you get off this crazy ride and you think this is how it will be ALWAYS. But at one point or the other one of them decides to get off and you get to see your so called perfect partner still on the machine from heartbreak city… you see them from all possible angles and things grasp clarity…like driving mirrors adjusted…fogged up goggles wiped. The realism is usually unbearable and you long for the comfort zone…the rose tinted glassed you loved to see the world through…the fairytale that ONLY you were lucky enough to live. One thing you will hear uncountable times from a person in love is ‘but he/she is so different’ or ‘I’ve never felt like this way about anyone’. Love is a funny thing…close to a blind fold you willingly wear to ignore all the faults of your lover…because you cant believe you got so lucky…this could actually happen to you…how could lady luck make your plain vanilla flavored life a lip smacking delicious gourmet dessert. Your starring in this summer's commercial romance movie and your the apple of the hero’s eyes, your belief in romance is restored by the prophet called cupid, this is what you’ve been waiting for all your life. Anyone warning you that this too will fall through like all great ideas, this will lose its novelty, you are still very ordinary is a cold hearted, never been in love devil from hell who should be crucified more glamorously than Jesus himself. While you can’t help being smug, satisfied, deliriously dreaming about marriage, the perfect house and car, cute babies running around and your lover performing romantic feats found only in trashy novels. Not even God could take this away from you because love conquers all, love is your personal salvation army and ALL you ever need is love. Slowly but surely the blindfold slips, fantasies exchanged for rationality, exhilaration dried up and shriveled like something you left in the sun too long. But the worst thing about waking up from this dream is the embarrassment, mortification, i-told-you-so’s and the hat on your head that says JACKASS. (8:30 PM) ~`~
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