| Diary of a Neurotic | ||||||
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July 06, 2004 Why I smiled today.... The sweetest part of my day and the days to come when I lose hope, feel unwanted, hate myself and fail to see the purpose in my life. Identity of the writer is kept anonymous to protect his existence in this world. I can somehow never describe or put into words how I feel about someone or something, whether I’m depressed or happy. All the entries in my diary go no further than ‘Dear Diary, Today I feel…’ I’ve tried and tried but I can never find the words or the sentences to impress myself or satisfy my emotions. Today I spent the best 5 and a half hour of my life…out of the 191,160 hours I have wasted breathing. Right after I left her house I decided to walk home instead of taking a cab so that I could somehow convince myself to sit down and write and get my creative juices flowing. Echoes of her voice kept bouncing back in my head, distracting me and leaving me in awe. She had an amazing way of describing how she felt and soon enough she had become an inspiration. So here I was walking home, brain-storming and thinking of words to best describe how I was feeling at that moment. As soon as I came home, I switched on the air-conditioner and started writing down the data I had collected while walking. With 3 fat dictionaries on my side to help me find the most vague and intellectual words to impress her, I finally got myself going. Even though I knew she would still be impressed or probably in tears without the intellectual words I was looking for. But the dictionaries were there more to give me moral support. This girl I’m trying so hard to impress right now has played a lot of roles in my life. She’s the elder sister I’ve always wanted, she’s the best friend I never had, she’s the mother I wish I was born to, she’s the girlfriend I’ve always dreamed of, she’s the inspiration in my life. Who is she? She’s my crush’s older sister. (Jerry Springer must be looking for me!) She is the most beautiful and amazing person I have ever come across. People like her are born once every 500 years (NO! She’s not an urban legend). I enjoy the position of being her savior and best friend at the same time. And most of all I love to make her boyfriend jealous. She’s the only person I like talking to when I’m depressed and she somehow always manages o make me laugh. I’ve never had the time to feel heart-broken after I started spending time with her. She has always somehow lifted my spirits and this is my tribute to her, my best friend, sister, girlfriend, mother and inspiration. (12:35 AM) ~`~
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