| Diary of a Neurotic | ||||||
|
August 14, 2004 I picked up the phone and a hoarse voice fought its way through the underground wires and cables separating us. Warning bells rang in my ear and my mind rushed to the nearest telephone booth to change into my superwoman costume…singing…faster than a speeding bullet, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound…tat da da..tat da da…super-Mona. Secretly armed with soothing words, humorous alternatives, heroic examples I set foot on the road that is very familiar to me. But she didn’t need any prodding or probing…it was a story that had been kept veiled, disguised and nurtured like an old bottle of wine. The string of pearls dropped from her eyes and I grabbed one end of the whole tangled mess…determined to untie and loosen the grip that was choking her. I fell short of ammunition as my own words sounded hollow and empty… promises of a better future that I was not sure of…obligations of the situation perhaps. Who were we kidding? This was just a distraction from reality and after the click of the handset we will fade into our own worlds…least concerned about the other. It would have been a lot simpler if I could have focused on her….rather than turning it into something about ME. I felt guilty for…being happy…having it together…not being in her position…at least for the moment. I made myself believe that I had no right to go back to my currently blissful life while I left her behind with ghosts of bad decisions, confusion, hurt and pain. Does one person’s happiness come at the expense of someone else’s? Am I taking a bigger piece of the HAPPINESS pie? Now I was as confused and sad as her…how do I make sense out of this dilemma? And ironically I was reminded of saying goodbye to the dead at funerals…walking away…head bowed…seeking closure by telling yourself…fate just dealt her a losing hand…lightening decided to strike at that particular place and time…the plane just lost its way in that unexplainable Bermuda Triangle. (5:37 PM) ~`~
Comments:
Post a Comment
|
|
|||||
