| Diary of a Neurotic | ||||||
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November 30, 2004 Her tears flowed freely…tracing the laughing lines on her face and fell with tiny splashes on her tightly clasped hands. She cried softly, bitterly, without shame or embarrassment. I watched with utter envy and jealousy as she daintily wiped the corners of eyes…it was beautiful like a painter’s dream or a sculptor’s fantasy. With total ease she slipped into a vulnerable state…that I would have avoided at all cost. As the storm softened into sniffs…I wondered if it was an appropriate moment to ask her…how she could exhibit I wish/need/want so easily? Did she trust me to rescue her? Or the flood broke and I just happened to be the there? It was just like any other emotion…totally natural, acceptable and understandable but for me…a flash of weakness…a certain kind of disadvantage…a moment of surrender. And the only witness can be a pen and a paper. Among the lack of many things maybe there is also a lack of trust, letting go and coincidence. (10:56 PM) ~`~
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