| Diary of a Neurotic | ||||||
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January 10, 2005 In their happiest moments…her thoughts travel to places they shouldn’t…she chides herself that this must be the most inappropriate time to tread on unreasonable fears…. Yet they yank at the sleeve of her content heart…refusing her to soak in the warm sunshine of bliss. She wonders if he has ever feared the desert the way she does…does it lack all the things that hers does…would he be able to find her there…are moments of joy the desperate mirages of Bedouins? Desert of loneliness…as soon as they are uttered by her with quivering and breathless lips…the grip loosens on the happy world…this is where her madness wakes up once again…she runs around…trying to get away from the invisible hands that might pick her up and shun her into the wasteland…but she has been spat out more than a dozen times…her loneliness too large to even be contained by the countless grains of sand. Somewhere from a far…the lyrics fight their way…to be heard…she strains to hear the echoes…and her heart lurches…aches… howls like an animal caged and angry. She cries for all moments of loneliness that she denied and refused to feel…like a hurricane the past envelopes her…flashes of memories like fire flies…and she drinks her tears unwantingly lest they remain in sight as evidence. Why can’t uninterrupted tears quench the eternal thirst of the blazing, parched, ravenous sands of the Desert of Loneliness? (Inspired by 5 hours of listening to DASHT-E-TANHAI by Faiz Ahmed Faiz) "Desert of Loneliness" In the desert of loneliness, oh life of my world! Shadows of your voice and mirages of your lips are shivering In the desert of loneliness, oh life of my world! Under the dead leaves of your abscence, roses of your presence are blooming From somewhere very close The warmth of your breath is rising Kindling very slowly In its own fragrance. Far on the horizon Drop by drop The shiny dew of your glance is falling. With so much love and tenderness, Oh life of my world! Your memory has put its hand On the face of my heart. Even though it's still the morning of separation It seems that the day of loneliness has passed And the night of reunion has arrived. (4:29 AM) ~`~
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