| Diary of a Neurotic | ||||||
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January 16, 2005 My first short story! She had been looking forward to this dinner for weeks. It wasn’t everyday that she could escape the in-laws and have a single meal or a day alone with him. She had instantly perked up at the idea when her husband suggested a fancy dinner date…at a restaurant she couldn’t pronounce. ‘Husband’….she repeated the words to herself…even in the privacy of her mind she could feel herself blush with embarrassment…as if the objects in her room would pinch and nudge her teasingly like her friends did when she got engaged. After careful thought she had picked out an olive green outfit…her sister-in-law had once mentioned that it was his favorite color. She wondered if she had over done herself with the green shoes, green purse and the heavy emerald set that her mother-in-law gave her on her wedding. She ran the brush through her hair one last time and glanced at her watch…still half an hour to spare…she walked towards the garden feeling like mother nature…blending in with her very green surroundings. She liked watching him drive…even though he was almost an hour late…she didn’t complain…he worked long hours and it was nice of him to take her out. Besides…she didn’t want to spoil the mood or ruin her first outing alone. The radio drowned out all her efforts to make conversation…perhaps he was feeling guilty and was thinking how to make up for it. The restaurant was elegant but daunting at first…she had never seen anything like it…she wanted to point and gasp but his self-assured walk told her that she would only embarrass him. At the table…the candles flickered shyly, cutlery shone with the pride of being freshly polished, starched napkins sat saluting them respectfully. While she stared at him over the top of the folds of the menu...he sat there studying it...with strict concentration….his head bobbed up and down in slow motion and with the slightest flick of his hand he turned the pages. He had missed a pea sized patch on his face while shaving…his lips were curved slightly...he was engrossed…just like when he reads the paper or watches TV. At the sound of his dry cough...a waiter appeared as if the secret signal had been understood. She was thankful for the exchange of words between him and the waiter…this was the first time she had heard his voice since he came to pick her up…smiling in the spotlight of attention and love she nodded to whichever meal he ordered for her….eating wasn’t on her mind. She asked him how his day was…a question she had guessed he liked…because he was always talking about business with his father and anyone willing to listen. His hands and expressions picked up speed as he grew excited like a bird stuck in the branches of a tree…she poured water for him and just for a moment their fingers brushed…she looked up to see if it had any effect on him…but his voice didn’t falter like an orator reeling in the judges in for the first prize of a debate. The middle and the ring finger burned with the first physical encounter in public….she couldn’t help feeling smug and satisfied. Here she was sitting opposite her successful husband who brought her to this fancy restaurant because he loved her so much. A musical tone brought her into the present as she searched for the source of distraction….he picked up his cell phone eagerly and walked towards a quieter corner. For the first time she looked around…she had been so immersed in him that she didn’t notice anything…towards her right sat four business men…outdoing each other with their jokes and accomplishments. On her left sat a huge family…probably celebrating the son’s graduation…and right across from her sat a young couple…feeding each other food with their own spoons oblivious of their surroundings…they smiled, laughed and talked a lot…probably boyfriend and girlfriend. Discreetly she took out her pocket mirror and checked her lipstick and eye makeup…she had tried to be as subtle as possible because he had told her once his distaste for too much makeup. He came back clumsily.....as the waiter placed the food…she waited expectantly that he would explain the mysterious phone call but he picked up his fork and poked the chicken…to check if it would mind him gorging on her tonight. She chewed slowly and quietly…finally giving up on the desire of a conversation with her husband. How many days, weeks, months and years will they spend in this reverential silence? Two prisoners in a cell… scratching on the walls of their life four straight lines…one diagonal going through them…marking five days. An evening she had prayed would never end…seemed pointless, meaningless and boring. ‘Husband’…Her so called God on this earth…made for her to worship and serve till the day one of them dies was nothing compared to the fantasies fed to her since she was a little girl. Yet she will go through it all just like the generations of women had before her and ones to come later. (2:47 PM) ~`~
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