| Diary of a Neurotic | ||||||
|
September 28, 2003 My friend mailed me an e-mail I wrote to him 6 years back. At that time he was going through some major shitt and this was sort of an inspirational theraputic story (similar to his) which at that time I claimed that it was true. Im amazed that at 18 I had the patience and emotions to write something like this. I just hope he's not reading this and hates me for lying to him! Sorry Nads! you know I meant well & Im so happy the way things turned out for you....I told you they would!:) What I'm about to tell u might not change anything...will not make any difference but just wanted to tell u so I can get this out of my system before guilt kills me. This is'nt some crappy story with a moral in the end...its true (and no one knows about this NO ONE) Jody was my freind...I'm not sure when we became good friends it was in the summer of 95 my dad was kidnapped a few months back and we were thinking about shifting to America. So we decided to rent an Apt in New Jersy just to get the feel of things and decide if we could survive their big bad world....so anyway...I was stuck carrying the groceries to the 7th floor and I was having a hard time, he came and helped me, I wanted to say thanks so we went to the nearest McDonalds. We talked and he was nice, he was staying at his Grandma's place just for this summer...actually cuz his parents were getting a divorce. He was'nt ur average normal kid he always wore long sleeved shirts, he was depressed I knew it from the start...I cud feel it...so I guess we talked a lot, he told me his problems, his dad was alcholic, mom was a slut...to say he was living a troubled life was an understatement....his life was a living NIGHTMARE....before I was leaving he told me he was clinically depressed...and he had a passion for cutting his wrists and burning his skin with cigarette butts...I was scared...I was only 16...not really good at giving advice..not really good at treating a guy who wanted to commit suicide...and he had reasons to die...so he took solace in cutting himself and he'd bandgae them himself... He hated his life for what was happening and he needed help, cutting was a habit for him...he was literally trying to show someone how much he was hurting, he was making the internal pain external...anyway...I told him to consult a therapist...he was getting infections in his cuts which was quite normal for him...even on normal days he'd burn himself...and everyday I died just a bit watching him like that...he finally went to a therapist, talked with kids like him...who had a prob dealing with the pian....it was weird how many kids there are who are like him...he wud describe his cutting as a CHEMICAL WASH..he said sure it hurt but he felt better after that!!!!! I never understood him, he said he sorted things out while bringing the razor back and forth his arms, I didnt know how to help him, I was going to Pakistan and things were getting worse for him.... I wrote to him a lot after a while I got a letter from his sis saying he killed himslef...he cut his wrist too much...he bled to death....so thats his story...all I wanted to tell u ***** is that ur not the only one...half the kids find some way to transfer their pain...I smoked...I took sleeping pills till I was addicted to them. The point is that u have to rise from all this freinds are the only ones who can help u thru...ur my bestest freind and I dont wanna loose u like Jody! so whenever u wanna talk...PLZ feel free...this phase will pass (hopefully)...but just remember that I'm here for u! HELL u have so much to live for...think about it! Ur Loving Friend, Mona. (6:38 PM) ~`~
Comments:
Post a Comment
|
|
|||||
